Saying Good-Bye

Sitting here I can’t even mentally fathom that in just a few short hours I am going to be back in the United States. Back into my own context and to the people and things that used to be comfortable to me. I am so nervous. I am nervous that I have changed so much that it will be hard for me to relate to what used to be mine.  I’m nervous that the people I love won’t understand the things I’ve seen and why I feel the way I do and that I won’t be able to relay it to them even if they do what to hear it all. I’m nervous to be alone (even if it is only for the few hours of my travels home), I have been with 15 people all the time for the last four months. I am scared that I am about to graduate college, I have this new knowledge (but still don’t even understand or know so much) and I now have to apply it to a real job. How do I do everything that I have seen, heard and experienced justice; can I?

 I am sitting at the airport in Nicaragua waiting to board my flight back to the states. I can’t believe it’s over. The last four months were possibly the fastest four months of my life. They were intense and wonderful. I made friends that I will forever cherish. As I am sitting her reflecting over the whole semester and all of the incredible people we spoke with and things that I learned; apathy is no longer an option. I have to take the things and I have seen and heard and make changes. I know that as one little person I will never change the world, but what I can do is make changes in my daily life and live a life that reflects and respects the type of life that I want to live. The massacre testimonies we heard, maquila factory workers the war torn communities, they all entrust their stories in our hands with the promise that their story go untold.  I have learned more in these four months here in Central America than I have learned in my entire four years of college. While there are certainly beautiful pictures of the places we have been, that is not what this semester was about. 

                I remember after my first trip to Central America I thought, wow there is so much that I could do to volunteer there and be of help to the people there. I was wrong. The greatest help that I can be is becoming an advocate for better U.S. foreign policy particularly towards LA but the rest of the world. The power that simply being a United States Citizen holds is huge. I know that alone I would not make an impact but I know there are many organizations and people out there already organized and working towards a greater world with greater equality. I cannot wait to get started finding my place in the crazy world, where and how I can serve a purpose.